don't take it personal

maybe in light of last week, i've been in a more negative mood than usual. not that that is an excuse; just an explanation. but tonight, i've been humbled. i don't like people picking up on my negativity, or, perhaps even more-so dislike when they call me out on it-- so it's something that was indirectly brought to my attention and i've decided to reflect on it and do something about it.

i feel as if tonight i've been humbled, and that is never a bad thing, even when it feels like it. Proverbs 3:11 says "my child, don't reject the Lord's discipline, and don't be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." i think that is both the problem, and the solution.

alright, ya'll. confession time. which is also dubbed swallow-your-pride-to-make-room-for-that-slice-of-humble-pie. so bear with me, cos this bitter pill needs a turpentine chaser (thanks dash)-- i take things personally. i can't help but feel personally offended and wounded as if rebuke and discipline are a stab at my character and an attack of me personally. news-flash: get over yourself, Rhiannon. it's not about you. got it? yeah, didn't think so.

ya'll this is revelation. and not the sweet, manna-from-heaven revelation. but oh-so-needed. Hebrews 12 reminds us again to not be discouraged when we are rebuked by Him, for whom He loves He chastens; if we endure chastening, God deals with us as sons, as His children. it may not seem lovely, as "no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11)

the book of Joel, although short in nature, is packed intensely with an example of a land left barren and destroyed by locusts, but then also left to the hand of the Lord: "the day of the Lord is an awesome, terrible thing. who can possibly survive?" the prophet asks in Joel 2:11. fortunately, the Lord is so quick to respond with a call to repentance in verse 12: "that is why the Lord says, "turn to me now, while there is time. give me your hearts. come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. don't tear your clothing in grief, but tear your hearts instead." return to the Lord your God, for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He is eager to relent and not punish. who knows? perhaps he will give you a reprieve, sending you a blessing instead of a curse." (Joel 2:12-13)

what a great comfort to know that although God's wrath and discipline can be such a thing to fear; yet, when we seek out his mercy and generous forgiveness and compassion through repentance, He is not quick to anger, yet quick to cover us in His mercy and love! what goodness is in that!? as He disciplines us and sets us on the right course, He immediately graciously throws His arms around us as a father would to his grieved child.

as certain things have been rebuked as a whole, i've been taking a personal offense to them and therefore, harboring bitterness towards the authority over me. although unexpressed, it has had a definite effect on my negativity and overall tainted my sight of day-to-day things. even stuff that is small and monotonous, to the overarching things that are meant for our own safety and to uphold the image that YWAM has established in this community for over 20 years now. i've taken it personally, although it was never intended for that. as hard as it is for us me to realize sometimes, it's not about us me. thank the Lord for that, too.

i need to accept the discipline as a loving stern hand and understand that the chastening will yield peaceable fruit of righteousness. i need to learn how to not roll my eyes at authority or seemingly silly rules. and i need to not take it personally, letting it impact my attitude, behavior, and even--especially-- my spiritual life.

this was not the message i intended on writing. but as i vigorously flipped through my bible, i kept hearing joel, joel, joel! and the scripture i wanted (the one in hebrews) was not there! but once i went back and read through joel, i was so thankful that i heard that because i think they really matched up well! praise God for everything He is doing in me and through me, even when i am reluctant to have it.

the-new-now-normal

i went to bed last night with a frozen coke bottle of water wrapped in the edge of an airline blanket, and laid across my chest. temperature control.

***

i monitor students work with a packet of pez in hand. behavior management.

***

on stage, in the arena, sarah and i sat and debriefed during our one-on-one with each other. we overlooked trash, concrete, re-barb, and the occasional tree in between the aforementioned. one-with-nature.

***

this afternoon, i mixed a left over packet of brownie fudge with a few tablespoons of peanut butter to make a dessert i could consume with crackers. baking.

***

sitting on the couch, i'm required to apathetically pull red ants from my skin without missing a beat. the hundreds of daddy long legs in the rafters stay as welcomed house guests. beetles get swept out; roaches, beat with a broom. pest control.

***

i finally picked up a case of 48 chocolate pudding cups from a pallet in the arena that was part of a 7,200 pound anonymous shipment last month. shopping on a budget.

***

i've learned to sleep in a mosquito net, spray myself down with DEET twice daily, bleach my veggies, get my fiber through pills, deal with the constipation-diarrhea pendulum, and check for worms. the new health care bill.

***

walking the market in Montrouis, i bought 250 gourdes worth of avocados. the day after buying 2 bundles of potatoes, 3 of tomatoes, and an onion for less than 100 gourdes. dinner parties.

***

started to wash my clothes yesterday shortly after lunch. the electric cut out mid-cycle. by the time it came back on and finished, i hung them on the line just before dinner. it poured last night. they were dry by noon. extra rinse cycle.

***

pouring sweat while sitting inside waiting for the electric to turn on so the water pump would allow water pressure in the shower, i had a peace-bringing conversation with someone i hardly know about how in someways, were hardly different. refreshing.

*******

being in haiti has allowed me to see things in a whole new light. and i'm not sure that the florescent tint is better than the tungsten i'm used to; nor can i always see by choice, and not being forced into it. but nonetheless, my worldview has changed on the ways of life, or at least been transformed rather than conformed, by the situations and circumstances i've been living in.

things here take much more work. to make a phone call, you've got to get dressed, walk to the school to plug in in the office, open your computer and skype account, and pray that the person is available. and that's just if the internet is working. to make my favorite snack, i have to go to the market, find a vendor that has tomatoes/avocados/etc., check prices/quality, practice my best french-creole, walk back, bleach the veggies, soak the beans for 8+ hours, cook the beans in the morning for another 2 hours, just to have the cooked beans go bad by the end of the afternoon. even trying to go to dinner last night took an hour: to wait for taxis, to walk while waiting for taxis, to have the taxi die mid-trip, to get to the restaurant to find that they closed for the entire day because they were "too tired from fête st. marc" to open. to walk to a new restaurant, because there are oh so many of those here, and so-on and so-forth. point isn't to complain; the point is to convey how everything here requires that much more effort to even get it done. and sometimes, last week in particular, that can be frustrating. excruciatingly frustrating.

***

so, on saturday morning, i began taking a new deworming medication. i know, i know. how polite and lady-like to discuss this. well, in case you haven't noticed, this blog is pretty raw and up front, and i'm in haiti, so i've decided i get the liberty to talk like this at will. well, yesterday, let's just say "sources" confirmed that the dewormer was working. i am slightly thrilled. i was sort of praying for worms. wait, what? yes. i said that. if its worms, then it means that the terrible stomach aches and issues i've been having lately can be, well-- er, passed. it is not normal to pray for worms. its not normal to have worms. again, new normal.

***

all wit and humor aside, last week was the hardest here, and feeling the furthest from the Father. it started last sunday as i withdrew from church just before creole worship began and came home to read and pray on my own (totally needed). but the entire week was one in which i neither felt the presence of the Lord, nor the desire to put forth more effort to find myself at His feet. i was fatigued, frustrated, and even fearful towards weeks-end. each morning, i woke up less excited, and more in pain. i would lay down exhausted at night, and feel my tummy tremble and gurgle as the upsettedness slowly migrated from my lower abdomen to my upper stomach. i've been bloated for three weeks, substantially noticeable by way of gas and the fit of my unflattering lack-of wardrobe. i'm met with frustration as i want to nap, but its hotter inside than out, and laying underneath a mosquito net with zero air-circulation only gives me reason to wash my sheets, yet again. the kids had been exceptionally heinous all week, but that was even the least of my worries. friday morning, i was ever-reluctant to get out of bed for prayer walk, but i told the Lord, God, you've got to do this for me. I don't have it in me. But I know I need to meet you there. driving to the park at the centre of the city, i was sitting in the back of a large work truck, on the side panel. as we bumped about through the roads, i thought, it would be just awful if this panel fell over, and i went with it? I could vision it happening. that would be the last straw; i'd be on the first plane home . . . and then, it happened. it came unhinged and went right over the side. fortunately, i had been gripping the handle used to climb up into the truck and did not go overboard with the panel. but, even in my safety, i was furious. i wanted to cry immediately. i was completely unharmed, and protected by the Lord, but that was all i could take.

fortunately, later in the day, i remembered back to the bible study from the night before. we talked about how when we operate out of fear, we are out of the will of the Lord. God does not put fear in our hearts; in fact, we are to cast out fear with His perfect Love. the fear i experienced was the enemy. he put a fear in my heart, and then tried to kill me, in order to run me off. in order to wear me down and get me to stop what i am doing here in Haiti. its scary, but its also encouraging. the enemy will leave you alone if you're not a threat to Him. we were headed to the park to pray against voodoo and satanic pacts that would be made over the st. marc holiday. we were to pray prophetically over the city, to witness God's love for the nation of Haiti. why would the devil want me there?!

***

after a few conversations with sarah, my one-on-one mentor here, i've begun to realize i'm not alone in this. we are all struggling with comfort and the ability to deal and function in a world of intermittent electric, more sweat than our bodies can handle, and a distaste for rice and beans. our honest, real, venting session allowed us both to release our frustrations in shared company, knowing that we understood exactly what the other was feeling. it also gave us platform to pray through this time together. to ask for wisdom and understanding, and a physical and spiritual tolerance for all were succumbed to. to ask that we learn through our suffering, and that it increases our endurance. it was a really great moment to just be real with each other and not have to put on a facade that reflected our initial vigor and ease.

***

later in the day, i talked to jodi, a fellow teacher from the states living in the DR. although we have only met once or twice, we have experienced a lot of the same emotions and situations throughout our journeys to teach in the third-world. just talking to her honestly brought peace and confirmation to me, about so much more than just the here-and-now, but also about God's plans for my future. that conversation was refreshing, and reminded me of who i am and why i came.

***

since those conversations, i've felt a lot better. this week has been better in general; church sunday, intercession monday morning, and the kids this week have been NORMAL, a NEW normal! :) it's so encouraging watching them grow and learn and think and watch with anticipation. and its been exciting to watch myself grow as a teacher and adapt to the situations that have come my way. pretty exciting stuff! :)

feeling so grateful for the community of teachers i work and live with. the six of us (once anne came to get me because i was totally clueless) just spent 2 hours praying with and for each other in the prayer room, and it was such a beautiful time. admittedly, i was a little more excited about laying down for a nap than doing that after lunch, but i feel blessed tremendously by the outpouring of God's love and encouragement from these women. we all shared how each has inspired and encouraged us as we prayed, and spoke so much truth into each other's lives. i know undoubtedly that we will continue to sow into each other's lives with prayer and encouragement, but it was exceptionally sweet today. so thankful that the Lord has brought each of us here, in such a season as this, to really bless each other while we seek to bless His heart through the people of Haiti.

today was a blur! one of those, it-flew-by-and-i-know-i-was-busy-but-i-don't-think-i-accomplished-anything-productive kind of blurs. i got up at 7:50 (my morning to sleep in!) and jumped into some clothes and out of the house in my usual less-than-five-minute, not-a-morning-person stupor to head to school to make some copies and get set for the day. class today was rough; as are all thursdays it seems. in the states, fridays seem to be the day that the kids go biszerk at the looming weekend. but not in haiti. fridays are fun. the kids are typically on their A-game then. thursdays, however, are hell. prior to restroom/snack/recess at 9:45, we had only accomplished prayer and memory verse; not even the bible story or calendar time!

the afternoon was a mess. well, it wasn't all chalked up to loss. daryl and jadelle (surprisingly!) were wonderful, and jadelle really exhibited a lot of responsibility and respect today; praise the Lord for that, because i was starting to wonder if it was a lost cause! we've been doing a lot of character education with the kids this week (respect, responsibility, care, fairness) through animal stories and crafts, and i've at least noticed they've been more motivated to respond when i question them. not to say they are right, but the fact they are at least taking the steps in trying to form a response make me jump for joy! roland and jarelle (jadelle's younger sister) were absolutely disasters today; so praying for a better day with those two tomorrow.

on a good note, they are all totally getting their phonics, which is such an encouragement, because without curriculum, there is no guide on what to teach and when.

***

after school, i finally completed the two-day process of laundry, and got all my stuff put away. line-drying really isn't all that bad, i just don't like that it takes two days to get the laundry completed! farron and i took a moto-taxi down to deli mart where we were blessed to find BONELESS CHICKEN BREAST! if you've ever done any shopping in haiti, you'd come to find fresh is not a word used often. bread, vegetables, meats; they hardly exist, at least by our standards or tummy tolerance. but i was so overjoyed to find it, that i paid $5 for less than a pound, and have high-hopes of making a cold chicken-pasta salad with it this weekend.

while we were at deli, we (naturally) ate a late lunch at epi d'or (it was eggs for lunch today and i had dismissal anyway, so i skipped). because it was like, 3 p.m. once i ate, i also skipped dinner and just ate the other half of my delectable crepe-sale (there's an accent on that e, but i don't know how to do all that fancy stuff), a fresh-made crepe with ham, cheese, onions and peppers, mustard, ketchup, and a spicy sauce. it seriously is the best thing on the menu, and at 80 gourdes (about $2USD), it's a good deal too.

after lunch, i came back to work on my classroom a bit: re-organize the book case, move some tables around, put up student's work. lost amidst the dust, mosquitos, and plethora of books spread strategically across the floor, i heard someone outside say, "oh, that meeting was only for staff." and it dawned on me: it's thursday! staff meeting! i ran outside and asked what time it was, and with 8 colored fish bowls in hand, literally RAN to the breezeway to stealthily sneak in 20 minutes late.

the meeting was actually a real blessing (not the usual, same mumbo-jumbo that never changes week-to-week). wayne and keturah announced that they are expecting! audrey announced that she is now the legal guardian of precious 15-month-old jasmineder! AND there was a plethora of can goods for our taking (i scored black-eyed peas, pintos, kidney beans, and a can of chicken and corn chowder!).

leaving the meeting, dinner had already started, so i decided to skip it and get to work back in my classroom. finally getting the shelfs organized, i tried to lower the new table's height, and decided a butter knife would not do the trick. whoops, that will have to be a weekend task.

we had women's group tonight, which was also a major blessing because we got swiss dark chocolate, homemade cinnamon rolls, and beautiful, decorative soap and sarongs from hawaii! anne-ruth shared her testimony, and just hearing about her faith was such a blessing to my heart. i did however, fall asleep towards the end, and planned on coming home (2 hours ago now) and going directly to bed. but either my extrovert self, or my introvert self, always takes over my exhausted self and i either spend time with people, or make time to catch up journaling. one of these days, i declare the exhaustion in me will win over, but unfortunately, that wasn't tonight.

His wounds have paid my ransom

how deep the Father's love for us.

how vast beyond all measure.

that He should give His only son,

to make a wretch His treasure.

i am totally reminded of this sweet hymn as i sit beneath the mango tree, with the strong land breeze ripping through to meet the caribbean at midnight. walking back to my apartment on base, i just had to stop and take a moment to breathe in His love through a brief observation of the glorious night sky tonight. the stars are more brilliant than i've seen them before here, and i just feel God's love all the stronger when i look and know he created them for our pleasure. as i stopped where the sidewalk ended, about to cross the muddy drive into the hidden walkway between the staff apartments, i gazed up to the night sky to just soak in it's beauty; in God's perfect timing, a shooting star streaks across the patch i was looking at, and in one fell swoop, my heart melts. i am so in love with the Lord. and fortunately, this is a feeling, a romance, that is eternal; not marred by human error or pain and heartache. this is a love of heavenly proportion. one that never lets down, always satisfies. one that fights jealously over us. one that loves without condition or expectation. a generous love, that never fails and never gives up on us, no matter how many times we may get it wrong.

this week, the Lord has been really teaching me a ton about the depths of His love. i've just become so enthralled by His beauty, but have also realized just how much He delights over us; His creation, His love. He rejoices over us with singing. He pours His love out over us, because He wants us to delight in Him. this week, I've come to a further understanding of His love for us; an increase in intimacy with Him. the more of Him He pours out, the deeper in love I fall.

over the past 5 days, i feel like i've experienced the Lord's presence and love in entirely new ways. i'm left even more thirsty than before. i'm at a place of becoming fully satisfied in the Lord alone, yet never getting enough of Him. i feel like in this season, He's speaking tenderly to my heart. He's increasing my own capacity to love, and to be loved. honestly, time at the resort on sunday felt like such a refreshing revelation of His love through beauty of His creation. monday, we had a women's prayer meeting in which all the women were praying for their sisters to be greater than she. we prayed for the leaders, we prayed for their daughters. and then the teachers prayed for each other as others prayed around us. it was so, so powerful. we truly were in God's presence, and in that, my knowledge of and intimacy with the Lord was increased so greatly. i could just feel Him delighting over us; and in that, He increased my capacity for joy. smack dab in the center of His will and presence is where i always want to remain; especially after spending nearly three hours that night in prayer and agreement with so many new and different women on base.

i feel like the Lord might be speaking to me in other ways, too, but i'm still praying for spiritual wisdom and discernment, as well as confirmation, in hearing His voice. He is no doubt moving, but I don't want to mistakenly take my move over His, ever. He's seeming to speak to me in sweet, sweet ways, and I'm just praying for continued revelation in that, as well as understanding of it. God has set my heart a blaze, and i don't want to-- no, i can't-- go back to even just being content in where i'm at. i desire fresh manna for the day; not living off of what the Lord did yesterday or last week. and i am none the happier than when i am coming before Him, blessing Him with praise and seeking His face.

yesterday i spent a lot of time thinking about the way the God is moving in my life, and really putting some of the ideas (Godly ideas even) ahead of prioritizing Him. this is something i realized this morning at intercession and had to repent of, because if i am bowing down to hopes and dreams and ideas over the Lord, then it doesn't even matter if He gave them to me or not; they have become an idol. careful not to let them become that, i had to let it go immediately this morning.

this evening, we spent more time in worship and prayer, and i no doubt felt the Holy Spirit just make His presence known. just singing out sweet songs to Him brought so much joy to my heart, as I was reminded that He loves us so much more than we could ever love; desires a relationship with us such much more than we could ever want with him.

last night and tonight, we also had prayer/praise and worship meetings, and intercession this morning. it's been so great to be continuously surrounded by amazing people, grounded in their faith, speaking truth and encouragement into my life; the way we were called to live with others. i have definitely been blessed in ways i know i don't even deserve. just even tonight, one of the girls from the kona team prayed with me and affirmed that although it may seem that God called me here to teach, His plans are far more than that for me. it was so good and reassuring to hear those words, as they are something i've been feeling myself for the past month for certain.

***

i've been reading the book of daniel and after reading his prayer for the people in chapter 9, am fully convinced that's the next passage that the Lord has put on my heart to really dissect as i did with the red sea and exodus. i'm really excited to delve into the word, and i find myself more and more hungry after the scriptural revelations. i'm anxious to see what the Lord chooses to reveal to me through the scriptures, so definitely check back next week to see what i'm learning!

***

but above all else, this is what matters most: it is His love for us that covers all, makes all things new. and as we fully realize all that means, we are blessed beyond measure.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Monthly Update (i even capitalized to make it seem formal!)

Bon soir, mes amis!

Well, my first month in Haiti has officially come and gone, as i finished my 5th week of teaching today! I can't believe I have been here that long already; yet at the same time, I've grown so acclimated and really assimilated to life here on the base quite quickly. I've really come to love my new life as a blanc (foreigner; literally "white"), and feel like I've been here forever. I wanted to thank each of you for your love, prayers, encouragement, financial support, or just even allowing me to vent or chat your ears off about all the transition!

Transitioning to life here in Haiti, I was really concerned that it would be difficult to adapt to all the life-changes at once. I was fully ready for an emotional breakdown to take place within the first three days, but rather than having to intervene as my Comforter, the Lord was definitely my Protector the entire time. I landed and really hit the ground running, starting teaching less than 24 hours after arriving in St. Marc! I lived in the dorms for about 10 days before moving to my current residence in the apartments towards the back of campus. I live with two wonderful girls, Anne-- 21 from Lancaster, PA, and Farron-- 22 from just outside of Chicago. They were wonderful and dear to me when I got some sort of stomach bug that rendered me useless for a weekend, and were not bitter in anyway that my sickness kept them up all night, too (our walls are more like partitions, and we don't have a ceiling). For as much as living in a third-world country can be, it feels like home. I have my own room, I've baked two cakes for new friends, made homemade salsa one night, and cooked an Easter supper with vegetables I got from the open air market, about a 15 minute walk from base. The adjustments were rather seamless; something I originally doubted because of the changes the nation underwent because of the earthquake

Although just about 70 miles north of Port-au-Prince, St. Marc did not experience any damage, praise the Lord! However, the effects of the earthquake were felt in St. Marc and beyond. Fortunately, YWAM's reputation here for 20 years has given them credibility as a NGO, and they have partnered with several different ministries, a plethora of pastor's, and even the UN. One of our volunteers here, Ben, is in charge of shipping containers (think: semi-truck trailers), and getting them to the right places and organizations within St. Marc-- the UN was even here yesterday and today for food distribution, in which we head up the efforts for internally displaced people (and there's an estimated 20,000 living here) in St. Marc. YWAM was also responsible with doing practically door-to-door personal interviews with those claiming victim status to ensure that they were indeed victims and not just those looking for a handout. Needless to say, the staff and long-term volunteers here have been staying very, very busy! Dave, in charge of all communications and arriving/departing volunteers/teams, has placed all the current volunteers (about 50 in addition to the staff and YWAM students living here already) on duty unloading two shipping containers today and sorting through for distribution. In addition to that, Mike, a volunteer in charge of leading outreach teams and the tent cities that YWAM has established here for the internally displaced, meets daily with area pastors to determine the need of food, clothing, and shelter for people that may have recently joined their congregation after leaving Port-au-Prince. I went out to Pareese, a small village just south of St. Marc, with him and a team of people on my school-holiday Monday and realized how important and stressful his job is in coordinating relief efforts and setting up/constructing tent homes and communities.

In addition to what YWAM is doing in the city, Liberty Academy, where I am serving as a pre-k/kindergarten teacher, serves as the educational means for just about 40 students in the community. My mixed class has 9 students, ranging from age four to a boy that is turning seven next week. Two of my students have a functional knowledge of English, and maybe two more have at least a quaint understanding without the ability to respond in English (which is a requirement for admission; a lot of parents lied). The language has proved to be the biggest challenge in meeting comprehension and even in maintaining attention and addressing behavior issues (which, there are a ton of currently!). However, in spite of the language barrier, we have made quite a few strides in breaking the mentality of rote-memorization! In the past month, they have all learned their letter sounds and short vowel sounds; and just last week we began blending the two! Today, we worked on word formation and they were able to READ!!!!! I can't tell you how exciting this is to me, because it lets me know that I am doing something right, and that even in spite of their moments (which seem to be daily) that they are getting it! So, that is definitely encouraging! One of the most challenging things for me has been that we have no curriculum. So there is no scope or sequence to follow; however, I've been trying really hard to align what I do with age-appropriate principles and standards from the states; but without a well-spring of teacher editions, or even student editions for that matter, to draw from. It has also been a challenge with the lack of resources, especially since I felt apply prepared to create and laminate just about anything after leaving college! But, in the challenge, I am definitely feeling the Lord stretch my capacity, patience, flexibility, strength, and reliance on Him alone! And moments where they clobber me with hugs, bring me birthday cake, or are even able to read the word t-u-b on the board, I am totally feeling the love and reward of teaching these children.

Daily life has been a radical change in paradigm for me. I wake up most days at 6:30. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday we have prayer and worship from 7-8. I teach from 8-12 (kindergarten has a half-day; the rest of the school goes until 2), and TWTh have lunch duty/dismissal til 12:30. On Monday afternoons, I have a one-on-one meeting with my mentor, Sarah-- a 28-year-old fellow teacher from Canada, for an hour. On Wednesday afternoons, we have a teacher meeting. On Thursday afternoons, we have YWAM staff meetings from 4-5:15, dinner at 5:30, and then ladies group from 7-9. Usually two to three evenings a week, there is a corporate worship service held for about two hours each night. Sunday nights, we hold a community church service in both English and Creole from 6 pm til about 8. On top of that, we just launched a house of prayer on campus, and have had meetings leading up to that, and I've myself spending about an hour a day in there reading, praying, worshiping, creating, or even taking the occasional during-reading nap (whoops!). This evening, a team of 20 from YWAM Tyler, Texas arrives and will spend all next week putting up a huge circus-like tent at the back end of campus for community youth outreach. I've talked with Philipson, a Haitian staffing the Discipleship Training School (widely known as DTS) here on the base, about getting involved with this ministry a few afternoons a week, and he told me he talked to Wayne, (the director's son, also DTS staff, and raised in Haiti) about setting up a meeting next week to fill me in on all of what they are seeking to sow into. So I am excited about that.

As much as I knew that God was leading me here to work, I did not realize how much He wanted to work in my own heart and life. Overall, God has totally ratified even just my daily schedule so that He is the center and everything else just falls into place. I know that in the 9-5 of the real world, this is not only abnormal, but it's barely even possible. So I am definitely left at a crossroads feeling that God has called me above and beyond "normal," but not quite seeing the full revelation of what exactly that is. I feel and know that He is on the brink of something magnificent for me, and I keep hearing Him tell my heart to wait. I don't wait well! But the Lord has really been shattering my notions and conceptions about how to live a life for Him, and in that, I am finding that I've been growing so much in knowledge of and intimacy with the Lord. I am learning to be both fully dependent on Him, and fully satisfied in Him. He has proved so faithful in every area of my life, especially in providing all of my needed finances in such a short time and sustaining me while I am here. He has shown me that whatever challenge I hesitate at approaching, He can overcome in one fell swoop. I've learned so much about His faithfulness, and am still continuing to unveil just how very much He loves us!

And so, I want to thank you. For joining me in this journey. For speaking truth and encouragement over my life. For praying with me. For financially providing for me. For remembering me to the Father. For following my blog and staying updated with my day-to-day. Pray for the Lord to continue to bless YWAM's efforts in the community. Pray that anything we do will be only by the grace and favor of the Lord, and not be our own ambitions or strength. Pray for miracles and healings to continue to be done and seen for the glory of the Lord. Please continue to pray with me as I try to discern what God has for me next, after Haiti. Pray for patience on my behalf, as I wait on the Lord to reveal and work that out in His own timing. I miss and love you all more than you would know. And please know what an encouragement you have been to me. Just in the outpouring of your support has proved to be such a blessing that I am absolutely pursuing where God wants me to be. The Lord has been using each of you to speak to me and bless me, and I am forever grateful for that!

Blessed and encouraged,

Rhiannon

one second if you will; i just have to brag.

i showered. at night. when its cold.

okay, so i whined a bit while i was in there shivering. but whatev. i still did it.

i even turned off the fan in my room today, while the electric is on!? who am i!?

AND i blow dried my hair. legitly, too.

okay, that's all.

four-day weekend.

i sit amidst the chaos of the cafeteria tonight; both comforted and chilled by the brisk north wind that is whisking through the open air caf. base kids are running amuck, ball and cane in hand. dance class is being held in the breezeway room, and random pockets of st. marc DTS and the other DTS outreach teams are talking, laughing, or playing cards in between the stacked chairs from dinner. the night is fresh (not a word used often in haiti), but it is welcomed. i just scored a pair of polka-dot rainboots from a short-term volunteer that leaves in the morning. after men's group gets out tonight, we're headed to deli mart, for lack of a better send off.

this day has been unexpectedly uneventful; but i can't complain at that. for a four-day weekend, i'm rather shocked at how quickly the sand drained before our very eyes.

friday morning, the teachers headed down to port-au-prince for the day with karen, erika, and clinton as they left to return to the states. i was really eager to go down; in all the relief efforts that the base is directly involved in here in st. marc, i've felt a sort of desensitization about the earthquake. this is normal to me, but i haven't been able to see how drastically life was turned on its head both in this city and nation. i was praying PaP would be a huge wake-up call to me, a reality check of sorts, and i feel like it accomplished that. with every blink, new signs of devastation were always present in your peripherals. entire city blocks decimated. concrete, several feet thick, torn, wrangled and twisted around re-barb that shared more of a resemblance with licorice strings than steel.

but i was encouraged. even in front of such destruction and obvious pain, the city appeared to have a sense of life to it. street food and venders littered the gateways to the tent cities. relief projects and humanitarian aid organizations were ever present on the roadways. i'm not trying to gloss over the fact that this country is in obvious and desperate ruin; i am however trying to bring to light what God is doing in the broken hearts of these people.

peterson, the YWAM PaP pioneer, drove us around the city, stopping first at a tent city that housed, for lack of better terms, 10,000 people. the UN wasn't doing food distribution here because of the size and disorganization of it, and the people were forced to go out on the streets to either scavenge, beg, barter, or buy if they could, food to provide for their family. rows of tents sprawled out in every which direction, putting faces with the numbers and statistics.

next, peterson drove us to the huge catholic church in PaP. all of the walls stood in ruins, but the concrete cross was left, completely untouched, in an odd juxtaposition to the destruction behind it. a man that had been at the church during the earthquake was there again, in my best guess living there on the streets. he told us the story of how the earth started shaking as he was waiting for his daughter. as he ran to find her, part of the concrete church wall collapsed on him, severing his leg from his body at the top of his thigh. he walked with crutches; one leg of his shorts empty. where his leg used to be, now a small, bandaged nub slightly protrudes.

another man played us a song on his guitar that he wrote about the earthquake: "the catholics called out, "Jesus!". the protestants called out, "Jesus!". the voodoo priests called out, "Jesus!"" he sang. for these people, this earthquake shook more than the ground; it broke their homes, it severed their limbs, it rattled their lives.

we stopped at the YWAM port-au-prince base, a shared building with an existing orphanage for children with special needs. it is totally not up-to-par with our standards, especially for children with special needs, but it has been ran with love for over 30 years now. i met 6/7-year-old isabella, the first child they took in from the earthquake. she sat, strapped in a somewhat-crude wheelchair, with a drooling and rotting smile shamelessly plastered to her face. her frail body looked much underweight for her age, but beautiful nonetheless. i then met with krystal, a simple and content 15-year-old girl, who became both an orphan and amputee at the massive 7.1 quake that rocked port-au-prince that fateful day. her mood and disposition never hinted at the pain or heartbreak she obviously had endured. she spoke to me (and i to her) in broken french, saying she used to go to school until the earthquake. she loves playing basketball. she does not have any brothers or sisters, but i neglected to think that she may have lost them in the earthquake. she's getting fitted for a prosthetic leg soon, and is excited to walk again one day. i love the hope that can be found in a child's face, in their story.

we also got to spend some time with lucy, peterson's wife and former teacher here at liberty academy in st. marc, and their 3-month-old baby girl. they were really sweet to open up their home to us, and be so hospitable while we were in the city waiting on the DTS outreach teams to arrive at the airport. lucy showed us around the beautiful home they were renting, and told us how every time they give the baby a bath, she has to pull tiny worms out of the running water. one of their staff also lives with them, a haitian that went through the earthquake. he is living in a tent on their concrete drive, for fear of the walls falling down and trapping him in the home like so many others he knows from the earthquake. life in haiti is a different sort of life.

late afternoon, the bus came to pick us back up, packed full of two dts outreach teams, one from Kona, HI; the other from LA. verdict: i'm old. they are all so young! each team is about 10 people, with two leaders each, and they each have one married couple (also younger than i!). all very nice and excited. it was actually really neat to be a part of their arrival to haiti. because i arrived on my own, i didn't get to share in the excitement or the novelty with anyone else. it was really neat to recall my own journey just a month ago to st. marc, and find familiarity in their anxiety and excitement. i spent much of the time smiling and chuckling to myself. as we entered the city and came around the mountains to the st. marc coast, i got to witness my first haitian sunset outside of the gates of the base. it was truly a beautiful moment.

***

saturday morning, i slept in. for the first time since i've been here i think! until 8:30! it was beautiful. i laid low, and went with a group to hike to the fort again. the weather was about 10 degrees cooler than last time, and i dressed more appropriately, trading my long sleeves for a tank top. about a twenty minute hike that winds between two small mountains, one must carefully watch their footing atop the dusty and rocky path. this proves to be more of a challenge coming downhill however (ask my newly acquired nalgeen, as it took a dive down the path as i scrambled to barely catch my balance when i hit a slick patch on the way back down).

we made the obligatory deli-mart stop, and then hit the pool at the base for a while, catching up on poolside girl talk and getting to know a few of the new outreach students. after the pool and the default shower-by-the-pool (what can i say, i'm a multi-tasker), i came home to clean the apartment-- a seemingly simple task for the small size and only tile floors. wrong. and frustrating to watch as the dust i empty into the trash blows right back in through the open door. let's just say, i'm glad i won't have cleaning duty for another 3 weeks.

late afternoon, i lead a group of the girls (alyssa, andrea, candice, lisa, and tamar) out to the market in search of some fresh veggies for the approaching easter holiday. utilizing my best english-to-french-to-creole-to-french-to-english, i managed to get 8 decent sized potatoes, 3 goliath-sized carrots, and a bundle of green onions, for about $2 US. not bad, even if i am a blanc and likely got gouged for my lack of bartering.

after dinner, i know i wound up at deli mart again, but i don't recall anything else exciting. overall, it was a fabulous day-- spending much of it in the great outdoors, Haiti's second greatest commodity, next to its people.

***

sunday morning came quick at 5:30 when my alarm quietly rang through my earplugs to wake me for my hour in the prayer room. bible, pens, journal and water in hand, i entered just before 6 and spent an hour in prayer, reading scripture for the latter 15 minutes or so. i was nervous that the lack of sleep would catch up to me in the silent solidarity of the art room, but its amazing how long you can spend in prayer when you commit yourselves to simply praying God's will for His people and work. i left a few minutes til 7 when the next person came to pray, but still didn't feel finished. so, i came home to read and pray for another hour, which was totally key. i took an hour nap from 8 til 9, and then got up to start bleaching the vegetables, baking a cake for jasen's birthday, and cooking for the day.

at 11, we headed to the prayer room for the commencement service and communion. it's amazing how this grungy, poorly lit, mosquito haven has been transformed with fresh white paint, colorful decor, plum pillows and cushions for kneeling, and a few staple pieces of furniture. we spent over an hour in prayer, praise, and worship and just dedicating the room to the Lord. terry, the national director of ywam haiti, spoke on how to pray using the Lord's prayer as a subject-heading model, and then we broke bread together in remembrance of Christ's death on the cross, and His life-saving resurrection, perhaps the most central, foundational truth regarding our faith.

during prayer, i was asking God what it was He told me to wait on; what it is and why it hasn't yet been revealed. without words, i just had a clear understanding that, similar to the infamous "A Few Good Men" line, "you want the truth? you can't handle the truth!" it was more or less an understanding that whatever it is, for whatever reason, is either too big for me to understand at this point, too crazy where i'd be stubborn and say "heck no, jesus!", too exciting where i would try to make my own path and pursue every opportunity as if it was an open door, even if i had to shove it open; or it would simply take my mind off what God has called me to do right now.

i know that is a lot of possibilities to say that i clearly understood, but it just made sense in my heart that it is not the Lord's time yet! He undoubtedly has something exciting for me up His sleeve, but just as already purchased Christmas gifts are often hidden in the attic for months prior, it is tucked away until the right season. so i have to find contentment in just pursing Him daily, seeking and serving what He has called me to, and trusting that whatever remains to be seen will be revealed within His preparation and timing.

after the service, i came back to the apartment where anne, farron and i ate our easter supper. i fixed homemade mashed potatoes with scallions, brown sugar carrots, green beans, creamed corn (actually, anne made that), and honey-glazed croissants. although it was an easter without ham, and left my annual tradition from childhood of perogies stateside, it was still delicious and such a better alternative to rice and beans (again) or the sunday PB&J packed lunch. after lunch, however, i did venture out to deli-mart (again) for a coke with a few staff volunteers and some of the kona/LA outreach girls.

church was wonderful as usual, but a bit long and i must admit I got a little heavy-lidded by the end of the service. after church, i went up to the office and we all shared cake (and a pack of donated oreos!) in honor of jasen's birthday.

***

monday morning the teachers were heathens. in observance of our day off from school, we also all skipped prayer meeting ... eek! oh well, it was the first one we've missed, and fortunately, there's safety in numbers!

it was a very light morning, and i was supposed to meet mike and his crew to head to pareese at 10 to help some families move into their new tent homes, but he had to run the pastor's back first, so i went to the prayer room for a little bit and got a little crafty in the creative corner :)

we finally headed down to the village, only to get there and wait ... and wait ... and wait. no one showed. so we spent a lot of time with the children, and i got to know a 5-year-old girl named melanie and a 9-year-old boy named kevin (or something similar). they were so sweet and both spoke creole and french, although kevin also dabbled in english and spanish. they were eager to help us repair the tents, fashioning patches with duct tape to further prevent any tears or holes in the greenhouse-style tent homes. because it was a hurry-up-and-wait situation, we mainly just practiced our french/creole with the children, and i got torn away from a larger group so the kids could play with (read: rip out) my unfamiliar blanc hair.

we left the village and got back to the base after lunch, so we got a quick reprieve from leftovers and got to eat the MREs-- its a shame that i deem pre-packaged, high caloric-preservative-sodium meals as a reprieve, but it's just nice to have something different every once and a while!

after lunch, i pretty much just journaled and spent some more time in the prayer room reading my bible and crafting cute scripture cards. i had initial plans to spend the afternoon out in the 5th section, a very rural village (think: african hut style) just north of st. marc; but those plans fell through. the rest of the day was extremely low-key, and naturally, was finished at epi-d'or, as a bon-voyage to a few of the short-term teamster's that came two weeks ago. for some reason, perhaps spiteful humor, it was an absolutely hilarious time. mike, dave, lisa, candice, tamar, alyssa, denise, anne-ruth, and andrea all joined for the ride, and between hawk-eyes at deli-mart, dave taking a thousand pictures with my camera, mike taking a thousand pictures of dave with the camera on my phone, and the amount of unnecessary food consumed, it was a priceless outing.

***

today, i was fully refreshed in the Lord and the children, even in their questionably-possessed moments, were angels. or, i was just too high on the Holy Spirit to be aware of the fact they were being crazy :) got a lot of lesson planning and center planning done today, but i likely won't implement much of it until thursday. spent an hour in the prayer room, in and out of consciousness however, and have been journalling all afternoon.

with the amount of people on base right now, i can't be late to dinner. until next time.

xoxo

random sidenotes from my first month

saturday completed week four here for me in haiti. it is hard to believe i've been here that long, yet at the same time, it feels so like home and like i've been here forever. so i just wanted to make a few random, trust me, random, reflections on my past 4 weeks as the novelty has worn and life in haiti has just become life.

my feet will never be clean. even directly after a shower.

i've eaten more rice and hot dogs than ever before in my life. that is not a hyperbole.

i've had to learn to rock the pony tail. daily. leaving my hair down is too hot, and not to mention the intermittent electric isn't really conducive to blow drying.

back home, if i saw a spider i would freak out and kill it immediately. usually by throwing a shoe at it. now, i just go about life as if it wasn't there. there are too many to kill, and another one would just take its place tomorrow.

i've learned to sleep without a top sheet or blankets. and flat on my back, never fetal with limbs touching. its just too hot.

i've gotten into the habit of spraying myself with deet first thing in the morning, before dinner, and right before i climb into my mosquito net for bed.

mashed potatoes, carrots, creamed corn, and green beans are delicacies- worthy of Easter supper. and even if the majority are carbs, they are still considered veggies in my book.

oreos are hard to come by. but Lordy, when we do, we can sit and eat an entire package in one sitting.

i've learned to eat things i wouldn't have even tried at home: like hot dogs. tuna salad. beef. cheese even. you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

even epi-d'or gets old.

it is possible to get up at 6:30. every morning. and consider 8:30 sleeping in.

there is such a thing as "too hot."

i'm completely competent enough to go to the market and buy fresh veggies on my own with my french.

when God says wait, He means wait.

Haiti is one of the most beautiful places i've ever seen.

the heart of God is Love, not condemnation. but you better not reject the Love.

there is such a thing as Haitian time. the internet and electric run on this also.

i've come to the reality that i likely have worms. but that's okay; i'll be getting dewormed before i head back to the states.

Gods plan is greater and more intricate than my own. Praise God for that. I don't have time to plan my life.

it's not about finding the destination, or where God is calling me. its about choosing to seek and serve Him daily, and His will will be revealed to me as He leads me down that path.

i will always choose to put people time over personal time. i'm addicted. i fasted people yesterday morning. that was hard.

children of haiti, even as ridiculous as they can be, are beautiful. you can not look at a child and not smile.

God is doing magnificent work here in Haiti. i am blessed and humbled to be a part of it, in whatever affect possible.

i've learned i drink coke just because its cold.

i've only had one bout of vomming/diarrhea in a month. thats a victory.

i've kept in better contact with some of my close friends here than i did in the states. i'm both encouraged and saddened by that.

taking french over spanish in school has finally paid off.

the greatest comforts from home aren't material things: they are ice and hot showers.

if you can drive in haiti, you can drive anywhere.

you don't need anything material to be happy. you need God and relationships.

even though my apartment is likely less than 300 square feet, it still takes almost 2 hours to clean it.

coming without a return ticket is like asking to be recruited.

being on an island with no tv and limited internet access means facebook becomes CNN. all my news is secondhand, and usually a day or two late.

you eat when you're fed. even when you're not hungry.

this will cause you to gain weight.

iphones stay charged for three days when you're not constantly using them.

be flexible.

do everything with a joyful heart. it makes it so much more bearable.

you should get to know everyone you have the chance to. chances are, their story is something fabulous, and you have a chance to really learn from them.

take advantage of electric. never get lazy while the power is on.

hugs can fix just about anything. but for everything, there's prayer and praising our Father.

God doesn't make you wait for ketchup.

just because you have on bug spray does not make you invincible.

cats on tin roofs sound like people on tin roofs.

all the dogs in haiti look identical. and pathetic.

the grass may be greener on the other side; but that's because its irrigated with poo-water.

live with a heart of love and forgiveness and you will learn the heart of christ.

good friday

its just after midnight here in st. marc, and the sounds of the night came to life almost exactly at 12. the packs of howling dogs, competing with the choir of roosters, distant sounds of moto-taxis, and the mixed rustle-scraping of the palms across our tin roof are not exactly singing me to sleep. its officially good friday, which also means its officially black friday by voodoo terms. at midnight, our 59-hours of continuous prayer kicked off, culminating in the prayer room with a dedication and communion service sunday morning. as we were going through the planning of the prayer room, we thought it might serve as a strong statement to have its kick-off service on easter morning, to commemorate the risen Christ. the 24/7 prayer until then is both over the room but also over this important time in spiritual warfare as Christ's death is mocked by the voodoo culture. Praise the Lord, we serve a living and risen God however!

today was sort of an odd day, as are most thursday's here at the base. i'll be terribly honest: they are my least favorite day, and i hate to say that. its my day i choose to skip breakfast and sleep in, but i still had some things to get ready for class today, so i got up early to head to the school, only after remembering that i had clothes in the wash that needed to make it to the line this morning. after school i had kindergarten dismissal during lunch time, and once i got to lunch, decided it wasn't really worth eating today. i tried to nap for a bit this afternoon, but the mid-day heat proved to be a bit much and once i rolled over and felt the sweat drip down my nose, decided my attempts were futile, and pulled in my laundry from the line instead. i finally got around to finishing my blog post. we had staff meeting today, which... is like every other week's staff meeting to be completely honest. dinner tonight was spaghetti and bananas. i definitely followed that with an ice cold coke.

we had ladies group tonight after dinner, and to be honest, i would have much rather been at the worship sesh that went down; which was apparently amazing. but i did get brownies. so that was good. okay, jesus is better than brownies. but brownies are still pretty dang good.

ladies group didn't even end til a quarter of 10, so i headed down to the base and caught up with some people and managed to skype with my daddy (love you daddy!) which was good because it had been far too long since we've talked.

afterwards, i just came home and read a little of my bible and started blogging a bit and praying. in fact, i just heard two semi-distant gun shots. if i were in the states, i would've argued fireworks or something, but i'm not sure thats an option here. regardless, i still feel very safe. although, i would like a screen on my window.

i'm excited for this weekend for so many reasons: namely, the night time weather with lows in the 60s!!! exciting to those of us that live in a sauna with a small, screen-less window and little air circulation. also, i am headed to port-au-prince in the morning, which excites me greatly. to be honest, all i've seen is relief. without witnessing any of the destruction, its hard to see what has to have been first overcome. i think this trip will be a huge wake-up call to the reality of the situation. i'm hoping it will further break me for the people of haiti.

i also have a 4 day weekend from school, so that is going to be ridiculously nice. especially since i lost last weekend to severe illness; one i pray i never have to go through again! it was the most awful thing i've ever had to experience! and i didn't sleep friday night so my exhaustion carried through the weekend and i never really had a moment to catch up and become refreshed.

pardon the brevity and monotony of this post. just good to get back to blogging. although i'm eager to blog through God's word again once i get a word on where to pursue next!

love and miss you all. please know i am safe and love your encouragement and prayers. please keep haiti in your prayers this weekend; pray over the work YWAM is doing here, for our prayer room, for someone to take over Audrey's job running the clinic (otherwise, the doors are getting shut), and that we are steadfast in our prayers, worship and unity on base. the fervent prayers of a righteous man avail much.

post-dated: thursday, march 25th

its 10:30 and i was hoping to be in bed by 8. im really feeling exhausted for the first time in nearly three weeks, and although i’m in need of sleep, i’m not finding it. the second the electric cut off, i noticed, even through my eye mask and ear plugs and being on the verge of unconsciousness. i laid there in my frustration for 20 minutes or so only to grow warmer. so i sprayed on the 40% deet and headed outside. this breeze is amazing; it has to be at least twenty degrees cooler out here. the sounds of the night are always lively; the street never seems to sleep. the mango tree rustles in the night breeze, gently scraping the aluminum roof in a sort of eerie cadence of the eve.

today was a frustrating day in general. i feel under utilized because i haven’t joined any of the additional ministry opportunities here or any of the extra curricular school activities. but i really just feel like this is the pace that the Lord would have me on. i’m still struggling to find a good balance of time for myself, and i need to be more stingy with that. just this week alone has been: morning intercession 3 days, 3 night meetings for prayer and worship over the prayer room, a teacher staff meeting, a YWAM staff meeting, ladies group meeting, and tomorrow night will be birthday night. all within 5 days. its a lot to schedule around, and still socialize, and have my own quiet times with the Lord, teach, and lesson plan. i’m getting more used to it all, but i’ve got to find-- no, make time for myself to just be alone and get rest.

i’m really loving what the Lord is doing here. He’s at work in my heart and life in major ways, and i am trusting Him to reveal them to me in His own perfect timing. I was hoping tonight would be one of those nights that i just heard His voice call me to come meet with Him outside since I couldn’t sleep, but i just prayed for a while and came anyways. i need to be still and listen. i’m going to do that right now, although i’ll have to drown out the roosters and watch for falling mango.

long overdue

i know this post has been long awaited ... but i just didn't feel released yet to blog when i was still covering the passages on Exodus in such detail. so for a few days, i just would jot down a little schedule of what i did that day, or something that may have happened that was worth mentioning, and have just been waiting to post! i actually even started this post a week ago, so this is all old news. but all of that to say, that i am going to try to update more frequently; especially because a beautiful 4-day weekend is upon us!

***

ahhh. alas, it's the weekend. and finally some downtime to try to recoup from this week. its been a long one, that's for sure! i'm sad i haven't blogged about it yet, especially last weekend, so this will sort of serve as a catch-all entry from last weekend to this. i have at least been jotting some of it down knowing that i would eventually get to journal about it once i got through enough of the exodus!

unfortunately, i have no clue what happened last friday. at all. none. aside from the fact we sat in the office that night and decided to hike the city on a hill overlooking the base from the south. it was edward and joshua's last weekend, and edward and i wanted to go out and get some good pics of the city and the people here.

saturday, i wasn't able to sleep in (surprise, surprise!), so i got up and headed down to breakfast and hung around base and my apartment for a while waiting for 10 to roll around.... and it came, and went, and i didn't see a soul! i was hoping they didn't leave without me, or decided not to go, but after like half-an-hour, they guys finally headed down stairs and we all got ready to take off.

so me, mike, joshua, jasen, edward and dinac (our translator) headed out (first the front gate, then tried the back gate, only to head to the front gate again) for our hike through the city. we walked through small alleys, stopping to photograph kids in trees, men building caskets, babies on the street, and part of our entourage (three blancs, and two chinoix ... we're totes celebs here). it was so wonderful to finally see some of the city and get out of the little american

bubble that we've been living in. walking the main highway is always interesting: the moto-taxis dart crazily on and off the streets, weaving between pedestrians and miraculously making tight squeezes past cars and people. once we got to the base of the hill, we noticed there were voodoo flags over many of the houses we were about to hike past. and so we stood, roadside, praying for our journey and against the attack of any evil we might encounter. ya'll voodoo is a crazy real issue here and it's heartbreaking the bondage people here live in because of it. fortunately, we had no encounters, praise Him!

as we walked through the small alleyways past these humble patchwork houses, we acquired quite the following. kids would seriously come out of the woodworks as if we poured water on an anthill. we had a few boys follow us from here to the top of the hill/mountain, and back down and to the clinic. its crazy how they roam the town; it's also pretty sad.

we stopped at a quaint little vegetable stand where a few women were also frying up some plantains and what looked like fried spinach dip. i bought a few quarter-sized limes, an onion, and a couple of the hottest peppers you could ever imagine for like, 90 gourdes i think? (about $2USD)

we continued our hike and stopped about midway for some photos, once we could finally see above the rooftops and over the city. it was an incredible view, seriously.

God is so good. this place is so beautiful and the panorama is truly a sensational site to take in. we tried to find a place free of others that we could sit and have lunch together, so we decided to keep hiking up. at the top of the rocky hill, there was a clearing and four posts, markings for a future residence perhaps. the view was glorious. directly north of us was the fort we had hiked to the previous weekend; below was the city of st. marc and the ocean in all its royal turquoise. as we sat down, mike read us a psalm for the day, and it was just such a perfect place to hear God's word as we overlook His magnificent creation.

we had brought with us MRE's (meals-read-to-eat), and let me tell you. if this is what the military eats, they've got it good! i had chicken and vegetables with noodles; but it also came with a chocolate sports bar, crackers and squeeze cheese, and reese's pieces (i stored those for later). everyone had a variety of cheez-its, combos, crackers, tortillas; spaghetti to chicken to burgers, you name it!

we took some photos overlooking the city, and then headed back down the hillside. stopping before we descended through the town, we each prayed out God's love and Christ's blood over the city and spoke promise over Haiti. it was such a powerful moment to just spend in prayer as we could see all of st. marc in our peripherals.

after walking back down through the town, we hopped on the main road and kept going south to head to the clinic. it was my first trip here, and hopefully not the last. the hoop home tents surrounded the green and white clinic building, and the smell of latrines was pretty poignant. the spanish red cross was there, doing some sort of work, but we didn't really spend much time talking to them. upon entering the clinic, we were met by a beautiful and familiar face: chadnitha. chadnitha is the young girl that was paralyzed in the earthquake, but has since experienced a miraculous healing (read the story i posted a few entries ago). she posed for a few photos, but never stopped smiling. it was truly an honor to meet her. the kids all over the clinic were so loving and social. we didn't stay too long before we were on the road for about a 15 minute walk along the coast back to the base.

we definitely hit the pool once we got back, which apparently was the plan for everyone, so I didn't stay too long. i went back and baked a funfetti cake, just because really. joshua, mike, and i decided to meet up after a little while to head to the market for some fresh veggies and to experience the meat market in all of its putrid glory. the smell was beyond offensive, but they didn't have too many innards laying around in the hot, open air. i bought 15 or so tomatoes and a few more peppers (bell and piedmont- SPICY!!), 4 bulbs of garlic, and an onion to make some fresh salsa with that night.

after we got back, i frosted the cake, adding some frozen reese's pieces and crushed oreo's to the mix :) we had dinner on the base and mike and joshua and i talked for a while until mike had to go for a skype meeting. joshua and i went to get all the goods from my house and brought them back to the base to use the industrial (well, for haiti) kitchen. we chopped veggies and talked for at least an hour, and then leah, jasen, and mike joined us to fry tortillas for chips!

we slyly snuck everything around the building, so as to not rub it in that we had cake (or be forced to share it in 40+ ways), and hid out in the office watching nacho libre (definitely a napolean dynamite-esque movie). when it was time for cake, we invited amy, molly, ben, and dave in from the office and all enjoyed it together! it was the perfect way to end such a productive and amazing day!

sunday, mike and I got up early to help joshua out with making pancakes and breakfast for the entire base at 6 a.m. although i'm not a morning person, it was a pretty fun time just hanging out and talking and laughing. a good way to start the day, even if i did go back to bed :)

we decided to hit up epi-d'or later in the afternoon, so i headed to the pool alone around 11:30, but before long joshua, mike, bryan, and the DTS students were all out in full force.

mike drove jasen, leah, joshua, edward, and i down to deli mart (interchangeable with epi d'or) for a late lunch together, so i definitely skipped dinner. sunday nights are always church in the arena, an eclectic mix of american and creole worship. one thing i absolutely LOVE about church are the children that come from the community. they are always full of such love and want to sit on your lap, hold your hand, play with your hair, touch your feet even. every week, i've had a wee little one fall asleep on my shoulder as i've held them. this week, i held little baby joshua, maybe a year old, as he laid his head on my shoulder, a voodoo bracelet on his wrist. after the service, i was able to pray over him, which was a really sweet moment to me.

after church, we went to deli mart . . . again. basically, just assume we have gone to deli mart. daily.

seriously, this was such a wonderful weekend and i've really enjoyed spending time getting to experience haiti, see st. marc, talk with more of the staff and volunteers and learn their stories and their hearts, make base feel more like home, and become more acclimated to my new life.