the glories are His

isaiah 26:8 Lord , we show our trust in you by obeying your laws; our heart's desire is to glorify your name. (NLT)

Yes, in the way of Your judgments, O Lord, we have waited for you; the desire of our soul is for Your name and for the remembrance of You. (NKJV)

just a fresh reminder of what I already read this morning; that we are to obey and wait and align our desires with God's so as to glorify Him.

red sea - overlooking the read-betweens

"and the Lord went before them by day in a pillar of fire to give them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night. He did not take away the pillar of cloud by day or the pillar of fire by night from before the people." --Exodus 13:21-22

initially, i skipped over this verse. its already a challenge for me to absorb the old testament, but pillars of light and cloud? i can't even fathom it enough to begin to clearly see in my head an image of those times in the wilderness. also, this verse seems much more like a visual aid than anything revealing about the Lord. but after a second, third and fourth read-thru, i see how this verse could be totally essential to the story as a whole. perhaps, more pertinent to my personal life, as today i'm really struggling with discouragement and my own inadequacies (Praise Him for His grace and mercy, that i'm not expected to be perfect in order to be pleasing to Him; i'm only expected to be obedient and to bring Him glory with every thought, word, action, and reaction!). let me explain.

set the scene: God has finally allowed the israelites to be released by pharaoh, but in His perfect timing and plan, led them a roundabout way through the wilderness. tired, cranky, and possibly over it already; the israelites were in search of an exit, and the egyptians were about to be hot on their heels in pursuit. but imagine this: not only having a faith to know that God has gone before you and carved the way, but also, having proof in the clouds and with fire, so that they are never alone, never in the dark, and always under the favor and path of the Lord.

i find these small, odd verses so comforting. perhaps the most integral piece of this puzzle is this: the Lord went before them. whenever we are on the path that the Lord has directed, He not only is with us, but He has gone BEFORE us! like setting up for a big surprise party, in which we may not know the details, but God has everything under control: from the caterer to the floral arrangements, from the reception hall to the DJ down to the detailed table settings and monogrammed napkins. God has it all worked out, because before we arrive, He has already been there.

often times, i find myself wondering if the Lord is still able to work in the ways that He did during the times of Moses and such. and I am dually comforted and assured that, indeed, He does: Hebrews tells us that He is the same, yesterday, today, and always. i love serving a God that is consistent! could you imagine if He changed His mind about us as often as we change our mood? what if He was feeling subjective one day, and decided that this persons good works in his own strength was enough to allow them into the Kingdom of Heaven, but one believers failures were enough to keep him out? what if the Lord operated under the same burn of emotion that we often allow to dictate how we respond to others, treat others, or even take advantage of them? i'm disgusted at my own flesh in moments like that and PRAISE HIM for being ever-constant, unchanging, faithful and stern even in light of His mercy and grace.

as long as we are following the way of the Lord, He gives us pillars of light to follow when it's dark. we are never alone. using His word, others' encouragement, and His leading voice, we are able to discern and to know that we are on the right path. like the israelites, we may not know where that path is leading us at times, but we do have the faithful assurance of God that He has gone before and will never leave us.

"call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know" --Jeremiah 33:3

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." --Psalm 27:14

this morning at intercession, i was broken before the Lord. i came tired, distracted, and not well-prepared for the week. in an attempt at transparency with God, which i believe were called to, I just gave Him my heart and my plans and my failures and weakness. in one moment's time, all off the emotion that the Lord has graciously warded off since my arrival 15 days ago came pouring over me; and in that moment, Christ in me was battling the enemy and a spirit of discouragement that was trying to sneak in through my weakness. i broke down, so discouraged at realizing how much work there is yet to be done in me. how far i am from being the woman so passionately wrapped up in the Lord alone that He has called me to be. i'm still wading through, trying to discern how much of that is truth of inadequacies and failures of the flesh, and how much of that is the enemy trying to deceive me to further distract me from what God is doing.

for two hours, tears have streamed down my face, throughout all of morning worship, the between time, and throughout circle time and prayer with the children this morning. i'm torn by emotions, but distractions; i feel as if my own concerns and my desires of the heart are often leading me, instead of just fully letting the Lord lead them. i was broken for seeking the approval of man through serving; and i'm torn. because i know that the Lord calls us to love and to serve one another, and i am so thankful and blessed for His merciful cultivation of that characteristic in creating me. and i find myself serving others because i really do like to, and know God has called us to this. so i struggle when i find myself caught in the serving so that people are pleased, not solely so that the Lord is pleased. how wrong is that? it really broke me this morning and i've been repenting and asking the Lord to fully restore a heart that seeks to serve Him, and serve others by serving Him, and serving Him by serving others.

i'm also broken because i know i am in a stage of preparation; for something, i'm not sure as to what. i know, and others here have declared in the Lord, that God is going to do big big things in my life, and He's about to wreck it (in a great way) with His plans for me. but i'm having trouble discerning those. i'm struggling with seeing what God has and what I want. its a constant battle to align my path with His, when His is what i ultimately want, but i can't see what it is yet.

so, on my recess break with the kids today, Jenna told me to go have a good quiet time, and here i am. collecting my thoughts before the Lord, battling the discouragement of the enemy, trying to utilize my weakness and how i was created to get in and infiltrate my thoughts with lies and deceit. i opened my Bible, asking the Lord to give me a verse to remind me of my Promises in Him. and I opened to a double-highlighted verse in Jeremiah, with Psalm 27:14 written on an index card holding that place. both verses are wonderful reminders of God's goodness, and His promise to reveal His plans to me. so, i declare patience in His name. i declare encouragement in His name. i declare strength in His name. and i declare the Living Victory of His blood, in my life; that He WILL answer me. He WILL show me great and mighty things, which i so desperately seek but have yet to come to know.

thank you Father for your fresh revelation of Your goodness.

red sea - taking the long road

"When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land. God said, "If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea. Thus the Israelites left Egypt like an army ready for battle." -Exodus 13:17-18 NLT

Even in the 12 hours since I last read this passage, even more speaks to me from it. I love how the Lord's Word does that; with fresh revelation each time we read.

First, God did not allow the Israelites, His chosen people, to get to where they were going quickly. He did not allow them to take the main road, or the short cut. Biblically speaking, the main road is the road that many follow. But it is also the road that leads to destruction. Proverbs says that "There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death," (16:25) and Matthew 7:13-14 tells us that "Wide is the road that leads to destruction, and many follow it." It is clear that the main road can seem, or even be, good at times. But often times, just going with the flow of traffic because it is easier is not pleasing to the Lord. God not only saw fit that His people not travel it, but he actually prevented them from doing so. Shortest doesn't necessarily translate to safest. And in this case, the Lord intervened and saw to it that the Israelites didn't even have the opportunity to deviate from His will.

The Lord also lead the Israelites into the wilderness to prepare them: "If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." Rather than allow them to be tempted with taking the easy way out, God forced them into a route that didn't allow them to nonchalantly bow out gracefully when the going got tough. How often do we look for the exit sign and run when we are faced with an obstacle that seems impossible for us to overcome? We are quick to even slap God's name on it and say that He's the one that closed the door or removed the opportunity before we even begin to pray about it or humbly petition the Lord God to move mountains in our favor.

The crazy thing here: God knew that in our flesh, we run at the sight of trouble. On our own, we are unable to withstand even the smallest trial or one that is seemingly impossible. It is only through Christ that we find out strength. "For my power is made perfect in weakness." (1 Cor. 12:10). The Lord was well aware of our sinfulness and our inability to often times rise to the occasion that the He has called us to. So, as preparation for their faith and revelation of His power, God led them into the wilderness off the beaten path.

When one of my pre-schoolers decided to make his playground revenge in the bathroom by relieving himself on one of the kindergarteners today, I was definitely ready to make my return to Egypt. Call the next taxi, book my ticket, I am headed home, and stat. Today was a definite challenge. I was hit with doubtful thoughts that reminded me how I've never witnessed such unruliness in a classroom back in the states. It was my most frustrating of days here in Haiti, and I was left praying just for the Lord to get me through it. Had I been on a the main road and not in the wilderness, how easy it would've been to throw in the towel and seek out another class? Maybe not as realistic, but definitely a huge temptation when things were as uproarious and unproductive as today was. But somehow, in my weakness, God's power is perfected. He strengthens me. He teaches me. He leads me to my destination, no matter how rough the terrain may become.

"So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness towards the Red Sea." Ever been at a place in your life where you could clearly see the destination, the desires of your heart, even those confirmed by God, only to find that the directions failed to include detours, road closings, and major construction zones? I chuckle at the thought of it; finding myself following the Lord's steps and seeing how off my path was from His (Proverbs 16:9) even with the same thing in sight.

Finding myself in Haiti seems a lot like a roundabout way through the wilderness to get to the Red Sea. Definitely not the main road I imagined taking to my dreams. I wonder if this is what the Israelites felt like. Did they meet the journey with confidence in the Lord, or did they question 'Why, God? That road is shorter!' Did they feel prepared before they got to the wilderness, or were they left clinging to the Lord out of fear and desperation? Would they have had sleepless nights in their makeshift tents, or were they so assured that in any-which-way, this was the Lord, fulfilling His promise to Moses that He would successfully lead them out of Egypt.

Do we realize that we are God's chosen people? The one's whom He has lived and died for? That the blood shed at the Red Sea at the deliverance of the Israelites is parallel to the blood shed on the cross for our own deliverance into the Promised Land? "Thanks be to God, who gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord," (1 Cor. 15:56).

I feel like that is a good ending point, but there is one last thing I gleaned from reading in between the verses in this small passage: God genuinely cares for His people. I could cite a million verses about this, but I'll try to refrain and limit it to only a few. As our Creator, He knows our flesh and our minds; so he carved out a path in the wilderness to keep us on His. As our protector, He leads us on a path of least resistance, so that we'd be safe from the Egyptian army, as well as from our own fleshly desire to run. As our Father, He prepares us and disciplines us for the season. As our Lord, He is faithful and powerful and awesome.

And as our savior, He ultimately delivered us to the Promised Land.

red sea - intro

"when pharoah finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land ... So God lef them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea." Exodus 13:17-18

" ... I have planned this in order to display my glory ... " - Exodus 14:4

"They cried out to the Lord, and they said to Moses, "Why did you bring us out her to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us? why did you make us leave? . . . But Moses told the people, "Don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today . . . The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." Excerpted from Exodus 14:10-14

"Then the Lord said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving! Pick up your staff and raise your hand over the sea. Divide the water so the Israelites can walk through the middle of the sea on dry ground . . . My great glory will be displayed . . . and all Egypt will see my glory and know that I am the Lord!" Excerpted from Exodus 14:15-18

"Then Moses raised his hand over the sea, and the Lord opened up a path through the water with a strong east wind. The wind blew all that night, turning the seabed into dry land. So the people of Israel walked through the middle of the sea on dry ground, with walls of water on each side!" Exodus 14:21-22

"When all the Israelites had reached the other side, the Lord said to Moses, "Raise your hand over the sea again. Then the waters will rush back and cover the Egyptians and their chariots and charioteers. So as the sun began to rise, Moses raised his hand over the sea and the water rushed back into its usual place . . . Of all the Egyptian who had chased the Israelities into the sea, not a single one survived. But the people of Israel had walked through the middle of the sea on dry ground, as the water stood up like a wall on both sides. That is how the Lord rescued Israel from the hand of the Egyptians that day . . . When the people of Israel saw the mighty power that the Lord had unleashed against the Egyptians, they were filled with awe before him. They put their faith in the Lord and in his servant Moses." Exodus 14:26-31

okay ya'll. i seriously feel like beth moore must feel when the Lord has placed a new study on her heart. I'm overwhelmed by the awe-someness, power, and love of the Lord right now. I'm sitting in the front room at the YWAM St. Marc base. The cool of the night is passing through the wrought iron gate that serves as the front door, and it is welcomed after a week of heat. The acoustics in this concrete concave are prime for Ben's voice as he worships the Lord with his voice and guitar (which, is actually past tense, because the Lord drew me into a sweet time in worship with him as I sat here typing; He's too good and I just had to indulge in singing His praises). The generator keeps the lights at a steady dim, and the sounds of Haiti are just over my shoulder as the moon and sun trade places for another night here on the island.

In this moment, I am absolutely enamored by the Lord. But His provision, His faithfulness, His glory. I am so satisfied with sitting in this room humbly bringing Him praise for the duration of my journey and not lifting a finger to do anything else. I want to cry with the joy of just being satisfied in the Lord. I'm humbled by how rare this feeling seems to come. Full satisfaction in the Lord? I'm ashamed at how little we find ourselves (or maybe its just me), completely at a loss for words for how good He is and how deserving of praise.

at Sunday's Creole/English church service in the arena, I had one of those moments (we'll several of them, but one in particular) in which I felt a challenge to delve into scripture and read between the lines a bit. I wish I would've written this all down on Sunday night, rather than wait to lose the freshness of it; but that is my own poor stewardship. I just had a vision of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea, and thought about the ramifications of that. What must that have been like? Could you imagine their faith? Talk about God showing up in a big way. Then I got to thinking about what the people must have been thinking, seeing a mighty wave of water on ither side of them, having faith that God wouldn't let it crash down upon them.

as much as i want to write all of this out in one, intense blog, I think it is best for me to make it into 4 or 5 separate entries. So please be patient with me as i write and post them all. For someone like me who really struggles with the Old Testament as much as I did with history in high school and college, I find moments like this very rare, yet exciting; moments of intensity represented by quite the opposite reaction than I would typically have. I find it difficult to draw as much applicability from the Old Testament and get lost in the lines of lineage (redundant?) and the who-begot-who's. But this story, of the Exodus, truly ignited a spark in my heart for the Word, and how God speaks through it.

and so, it begins. the journey of the red sea.

(Please forgive the double posting; its necessary for continuity in my opinion :P)

red sea .... will have to wait because jesus just rocked my face off.

"when pharoah finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land ... So God lef them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea." Exodus 13:17-18

" ... I have planned this in order to display my glory ... " - Exodus 14:4

"They cried out to the Lord, and they said to Moses, "Why did you bring us out her to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us? why did you make us leave? . . . But Moses told the people, "Don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today . . . The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." Excerpted from Exodus 14:10-14

"Then the Lord said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving! Pick up your staff and raise your hand over the sea. Divide the water so the Israelites can walk through the middle of the sea on dry ground . . . My great glory will be displayed . . . and all Egypt will see my glory and know that I am the Lord!" Excerpted from Exodus 14:15-18

"Then Moses raised his hand over the sea, and the Lord opened up a path through the water with a strong east wind. The wind blew all that night, turning the seabed into dry land. So the people of Israel walked through the middle of the sea on dry ground, with walls of water on each side!" Exodus 14:21-22

"When all the Israelites had reached the other side, the Lord said to Moses, "Raise your hand over the sea again. Then the waters will rush back and cover the Egyptians and their chariots and charioteers. So as the sun began to rise, Moses raised his hand over the sea and the water rushed back into its usual place . . . Of all the Egyptian who had chased the Israelities into the sea, not a single one survived. But the people of Israel had walked through the middle of the sea on dry ground, as the water stood up like a wall on both sides. That is how the Lord rescued Israel from the hand of the Egyptians that day . . . When the people of Israel saw the mighty power that the Lord had unleashed against the Egyptians, they were filled with awe before him. They put their faith in the Lord and in his servant Moses." Exodus 14:26-31

okay ya'll. i seriously feel like beth moore must feel when the Lord has placed a new study on her heart. I'm overwhelmed by the awe-someness, power, and love of the Lord right now. I'm sitting in the front room at the YWAM St. Marc base. The cool of the night is passing through the wrought iron gate that serves as the front door, and it is welcomed after a week of heat. The acoustics in this concrete concave are prime for Ben's voice as he worships the Lord with his voice and guitar (which, is actually past tense, because the Lord drew me into a sweet time in worship with him as I sat here typing; He's too good and I just had to indulge in singing His praises). The generator keeps the lights at a steady dim, and the sounds of Haiti are just over my shoulder as the moon and sun trade places for another night here on the island.

In this moment, I am absolutely enamored by the Lord. But His provision, His faithfulness, His glory. I am so satisfied with sitting in this room humbly bringing Him praise for the duration of my journey and not lifting a finger to do anything else. I want to cry with the joy of just being satisfied in the Lord. I'm humbled by how rare this feeling seems to come. Full satisfaction in the Lord? I'm ashamed at how little we find ourselves (or maybe its just me), completely at a loss for words for how good He is and how deserving of praise.

***

(will have to finish later. sat in on the alabama team meeting which turned into a passionate worship and prayer service in which God showed up in a massive, incredible, awe-inspiring way. which means, i'll have to journal about that, too. so, expect like 5 entries by this weekend. unfortunately, i have lunch duty with the kinders tomorrow, followed by a mtg at 3:30, dinner at 5:30, and ladies group at 7-9. Busy day, but it will be committed to the Lord and lived through His strength.)

Be blessed.

***

so, at the last keystroke of that sentence, i joined in on a worship meeting that had commenced in the very room i was in. i had also been instant messaging with Christina, and in a moment which she probably needed comfort of a friend, i was insensitive, perhaps; but just couldn't not partake in what was about to happen in that room. for an hour and twenty minutes, we were immersed in passionate praise and purest prayer. God's presence was heavily felt by everyone in the room. victory was declared over the enemy in Haiti. we were up in arms; we we're on our knees. finding ourselves in brokenness, selfishness, or even in an attempt to do things on our own strength humbly brought us to tears in front of the Lord. and so did His mercy and grace and redemptive freedom. what started as a team meeting for the group from birmingham, ended as a gathering of many; all in the name of Christ, seeking to be merely a vessel of His spirit to those in need in Haiti. It is not out of our own strength. We are not merely relief workers. We are not even just here as an act of obedience, or service, or passion. We are here to glorify the Lord and to make His love known. Everything we do, every thought, every action, every reaction; it must be about Him. For Him, and yet, through Him.

I wish I could convey the power of the Lord felt in that room tonight, and I wish moments like that were more present in every-day-life. it definitely rocked my face off. there, i had come, excited and ravenous for His word, devouring it faster than a fried plantain. there i sat, already hit with such fresh revelation from the scripture when He said, "Come. Join me here. Worship me here." eager to finally blog (internet is a precious commodity, and non-existent on the opposite side of campus, so bed-time blogging is a no-go), and eager to be in the Lords word, and eager to be talking to Christina, the moment caught me off-guard. i am so thankful i listened when he called.

***

today. wow.

intercession @ 7-8.

school - circle time, nearly made me cry. almost had an overwhelming moment, but God is a God who provides, comforts and protects. He also reminds you of your purpose, and how you must trust in Him alone. AMEN.

the kids: angels today. a little frustrating during math, but SO good the rest of the day!

great convo with Bryan at lunch - will be a blog update soon.

jenna and i got planned for the week!

spent majority of afternoon pre- and post-dinner warring with the internet. 90% of the time just waiting for it to load, and reload, and reload, and ... you get it.

served at dinner; new team tonight. found out a girl on the Auburn team went to Manatee and was born and raised in Bradenton!!!

did clean up; then more internet woes.

talked to christina for an amazing amount of time. hilarious and refreshing conversation. i love her and how the Lord is still using her broken spirit to bring me such joy.

talked to james. hopefully got to speak some encouragement into his heart.

had an amazing, open, vulnerable, and deep-friendship cultivating conversation with jaysen and mike. seriously, these guys are great. such spiritual maturity and sound truth spoken. warred in prayer together, it was ROCKIN'.

prayed over zach as he leaves tomorrow. God continue to work in Him; may he be steadfast in seeking You and your will.

i'm exhausted and hate to post with such little detail, but i just want to say, Glory to God, for He works all things together for the good of those who love him. and i'm so in love with Him.

choosing to be passionate instead of passive,

xoxo