more times like these

everything is an adventure here in haiti. anne-ruth, anne, joshua, ben and i get ready to head out to deli-mart on wednesday for another mid-week trip (i secretly went with lisa, bryan and philipson the day prior for a late lunch/early dinner and good conversation!); only this one was marred by a few sprinkles in the already-darkened sky. by the time we got to the gate, and jesse jumped in back with the boys, it was turning into a downpour.

had to get gas; whoops, no gas when it rains. couldn't take that road, they closed it for construction. by the time we pull in, ben's shirt is literally so drenched that you could take it and ring it out, as he did in epi d'or. good times and good convos, as usual.

driving back, we turn the corner onto maurepas and the most magnificent display of lighting spans across the sky right in front of us, illuminating everything with an iridescent purple glow. we hear the boys, still drenched in the back "ooh" and "ahh" and i chuckle as i watch each mangey dog and random goat get out of the way as anne-ruth tears through. its so odd to me that this is life here, but it also just seems too perfect.

times like these

after a lengthy and trés chaud saturday, in which we spent mourning the lost trip to goyavier and trying to find the USA/England game on Haitian television (HA!), anne-ruth, amalia, dave, joshua, ben and i hopped in the teecan shortly after 5 with some MRE's and a guitar and headed to hike the fort and watch the sunset over the caribbean. can we say, this is real life!?

the steep and rocky terrain reminded me how out of shape i've gotten here, and increased my eagerness to get back into a healthy workout routine once i land on US soil (and have air-conditioned gyms). as we crested the mountain to the old spanish fort, we watched as the sunset behind the clouds on the caribbean to the west, and as the storm clouds rolled in with lightning en tote over the mountains to the east. being smack-dab between two ironically different forms of beauty was breath-taking. being there with some of the greatest people i've ever met just completed the moment.

i love this country and the friends that i've had the pleasure to get to know here.

sunday morning, anne-ruth, amalia, dave, stacia, anne, jenna, jesse, and i all hopped in the teecan, this time headed south to the beach in montrouis, following ben and joshua as they hit the open highway on the motorbikes. there's a place in the road where the gravel turns to asphalt, the scenery from dry and rough mountainous terrain, to lush and green banana tree valleys-- all right around one bend. it was at this point i realized just how very very much i love where i am at and how much i am going to miss it. the beauty, the country, the people, the adventure, the air-conditioning in the teecan (so amalia and i always call shotty!). everything about that moment was picture-perfect and right. except for the fact i forgot to put the card back in my camera. whoops.

there is something so special to me when we pull off national one to the side roads of montrouis. maybe it is because the foliage turns to coconut palms and banana trees. maybe its the luxorious homes that remind me of 50s florida architecture. maybe it was the rose-colored glasses i was wearing and the people i'm always with. regardless, its magnificent in all of its beauty.

the panoramic of the beach at the life connection mission can be summed up in one word:

heavenly. rock jetties jaunt out into the ocean to your right and left. the seawall is palm lined, and a giant mango tree provides shade and is surrounded by a round, concrete counter space for entertaining. if you go out into the ocean (and beware of sea urchins!), the mountainous horizon to the south emerges from behind the tree-line. the grass is green and lush (like, yet so unlike, our poo-field here), and the aquamarine clarity of the caribbean is more than inviting; perhaps seductive even. jack johnson playing over the speaker.

shortly after spending some time playing cards, laying out, and ya know, just hanging out in the caribbean, mike brought a group up from port-au-prince to spend the day with us! glorious! mike, amy, ethan, kyle, and amanda have all done their time in st. marc (the latter only for a night), before heading down to PaP to work with Mission Adventures, a short-term leg of missions working with YWAM. its so unique getting to see people that have come, gone, and come back again during my time here. i sat on the shore, letting the waves softly crash at my feet as i used the rocky sand to exfoliate. listening to jake ousley now, i softly sang the words to myself: "it's times like these that make you slow to a creep, that make you wanna dig in deep, real deep. it's times like these that make you wanna believe that they'll be more times like these." amen, and amen, brother.

for lunch, a group of us headed up to the market in montrouis to purchase food and drinks from some of the vendors and peddlers there. i spent 15 gourdes on 2 perfectly ripened avocados, 10 gourdes on two fried plantains, and another 10 gourdes on two paté chaud, fried dough with an onion-and-picklies mix in the center (although many of them are also cooked with salami, chopped up hot dogs, or even fish in the middle. nevermind the time i pulled out a piece of chewy something that share an eerie resemblance to a dogs ear.). we bought some drinks and fresh-baked bread and headed back for our beachfront picnic under another stone cabana area. i even ate one of my avocados right there using someone's pocket knife as a fork. yum!

the beach was a blessing to my soul. even for a weekend when plans didn't work out quite right, they worked out best, and all in His timing.

***

after church, a large group of us decided to go to deli mart, at random. it was fantastic let me tell you! i spent most of my time talking with some of the newer, shorter-term volunteers and YWAMer's and the Haitian DTS students. i have loved getting to know these young men; just seeing their joy and excitement for life, even in the midst of long days of work-duty on base, has really inspired me and given me hope for this nation. i've been so eager to get to know them since i got here, anxiously practicing my heinous french on them at any opportunity (because i feel far less judged by people younger than me for some reason!). sitting with them at deli mart, we talked about me leaving soon and owen, always so melodramatic!, says he's going to cry when i leave. i didn't say it, but i know i will too.

to think, 4 months ago, haiti was a bleak spot on my radar. but this time here has been such a blessing to my soul. even for a season when plans didnt work out quite right, they worked out best. and all in His timing.

i do it every night. i check the weather forecast before bed.

i don't know why i do it. it's not like it changes. high of 37 (thats 99 for us Americans), low of 27 (thats way too hot for a low-- around 81); 40% chance of rain. heat index is always near 115. if it's going to actually rain, the wind changes around dinner; you can't just judge by what you see over the mountains. it rarely makes it to the coast. if there is one thing predictable here, it's the weather. all you need to know is it's going to be hot.

if i could only check the electric forecast; now that would be a little more telling.

banana et mango

for this is the day the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in it!

this morning we had a fun day with the kids (which honestly was a real fun day for the teachers!) and the A&E team from Kona helped organize games and activities to participate in. after the disco and a fun, yet complicated game of something like swab the deck, i realized i really should be photographing this.

and then i remembered: how much i love taking pictures.

i've gotten a little lax on it here, and that has hurt my heart now that i've realized it! with a mere 19 days until departure, it's time to step up my game. i also had a genius idea, which i plan on keeping under wraps, but i will give a bit of a sneak-peek of what i captured today.

the kids had an absolute blast playing games with erin, and listening to robbie sing his catchy creole "banane-nane et mango" song. in fact, my little ones even organized a small circle game, on their own nonetheless!, and i managed to snap a lovely photo of the whole group. i was really blessed by the free-ness of this morning.

the afternoon/evening portion was a bit frustrating; trying to organize an overnight hiking trip up the mountain to Goyavier (6 miles each way!), which i just found out we aren't allowed to go. i am craving a bit of nature, and need to get out of these gates. i'm feeling confined. taking it in stride, and knowing it's only 19 days until i'm once again responsible for myself.

i hope someday i'm back here.

i'm sweaty. dirty. and i smell bad. but our God is the God of the impossible and He reigns! The bittersweetness is starting to set in; three weeks left in Haiti and God is far from done working in my heart and with this kiddos.

i wrote that this afternoon after feeling just an abundance of His blessing the past few days. (see previous posts). In an effort to quantify His blessings and teachings, i will reflect on a few sweet, revelatory (wow! that is a word!) moments from today:

i woke up this morning awake and energized. and on time. at intercession this morning we were to pair with a person whom we've never met. and i walked up to sweet, sweet Maria from the El Paso/Juarez team. without knowing a thing about her, i began to pray authoritatively over her. i couldn't even believe the clarity in my own prayers; something that for the past couple weeks i've found a real challenge in praying through my own confusion. this sweet woman received my prayers, and continued on praying for me . . . in spanish. i was just touched by God's heart even though i could only understand every fifth word or so. there's something so strong to me in the agreement of prayers that bridge barriers such as language.

upon getting to school after intercession, philipson walks by sharing that he just received an email from the US Embassy granting him an emergency visa appointment . . . tomorrow, at 7 am. PRAISE GOD. a little background: after praying about it, he feels led to do a secondary school (YWAM thing) in Kona. Philipson is such a wonderful man of God and has SUCH an anointing on his life for this country, like serious ya'll. he is going to lead this country in such powerful ways, and for the Lord! i digress; to go to Kona, he needs a visa. that takes months. he plans on leaving july 8th. last night in the prayer room, we stopped worship to pray for him over this, and BAM! granted. in less than 24 hours!!! Praise God; He is the God of the impossible!

i've also been experiencing a bit of negativity around me through someone who does not have the authorization to even bring that with them, but that has sort of brought discouragement upon me regarding my classroom. but today, all of that melted away and i realized the truth of just how very far my kinders have come. i am so proud of these kids. the fact that they can decode words. put words into sentences as they explain what the word means in English. typically, i plan for the day and have plenty of things left over that we just did not have the time today. today was not one of those days. we progressed through our bible, calendar, phonics, math, science, craft and literature time so smoothly and with such finesse that we actually had time left over. in that spare time, we began spelling words generated by the kids! amen! stacia came in at the MOST appropriate time, and the kids retold the Very Hungry Caterpillar story that i had been teaching thematically. they explained to her the life cycle of a caterpillar. they recalled the things we did in class that day, in order. i sat there, so blessed by their eager spirits as they raised their hands and waited patiently to be called on. just typing that makes me want to cry; i don't think you realize the victory that is. in the states, i would be looked down on for them not having accomplished that by day 2 of kindergarten. but here, i see how far they have come and i am so blessed. stacia just looked at me and said, "i love you," in regards to their alacrity and ability. encouraged!

after school, i walked up to lunch just feeling so blessed and encouraged. i couldn't help but let my joy exude from every pore as i practically floated into the cafeteria. ya'll could totally smell the Lord on me. in a good way. not a funky, i-smell-like-haiti way; and ohhhh, yes. that is a smell, too. and, we had leftover potato salad. its the small things, ya'll!

we had our teacher meeting which, to be honest, was sort of a damper on the day. at least it started off that way. but afterwards, sarah asked us to pray with her over a new opportunity for her. she's been asked to step into a teaching position with the DTS, which would require her to leave her position with Liberty Academy. as we prayed for her, i just really felt the Lord's presence speak truth and encouragement over her. from my own lips, prayers were spoken that i didn't even know how to pray. again, i just felt such an authority and clarity in my prayer language, and it was so so delightful. (note: i am not claiming i pray well. i'm stating simply that when letting the spirit lead, He can declare pretty amazing things through me that i could never articulate in my own flesh.)

afterwards, i came home and sat down with my lovely roommate, anne, and talked about some of the frustrations and negativity i had been around that was causing me to become discouraged. if you knew anne, you would know this: she is one the most down-to-earth, sweet, kind-spirited women you've ever met! in the middle of our discussion, she says, "ya know, let's just pray about this. right now." and we did. and i felt so encouraged just by the reminder that we always have prayer. and God hears and answers our prayers. i seriously have been so blessed by having her as a roommate. to get to know someone so different from me and to become so close and feel so encouraged by the light spirit she just brings to my household here! love her!

on my way to dinner, i was stopped by one of the guys on the arts and entertainment team from Kona that has been helping out bi-weekly (every two weeks, right cara?!) with the school kids, and he just spoke sweet encouragement to me, over me being here as a teacher and diving into what God had even though it wasn't what i had planned. even just in the short exchange and first formal meeting, i left feeling blessed and encouraged. and i've realized, that is how people should part from each other. mental note on that.

after dinner, i had an uncommon wave of motivation and decided to go for a run. yes, a RUN! in HAITI! in the HEAT!!! i invited jenna and laced up my tennies and we were off! it was such a blessed time just spent making 9 laps around the base, feeling the caribbean breeze on our face as we prayed for rain to dump on us (it never did).

after a quick stretch and shower, i showed up to worship in the prayer room, on island time. we spent an hour blessing the heart of God with praise, learning verses in spanish, haitian worship songs, dance, and even clapping. as i was laying there, soaking up the presence of the Lord (in between the dancing and clapping, of course), i just felt the warmth of knowing i was exactly where he created me to be in this moment. i had been sort of hung up on a few things i've been missing out on in nashville, but right there i realized, i'm not missing out. this is it. ahh, goodness.

leaving with sarah, we both had been blessed by the worship. i mentioned craving ice cream, and in an unlikely turn of events, we were able to assemble a team with ease to head out to ginou for some chocolate soft-serve. amazing how choco fro yo can bless your soul, too.

***

today was a full day, indeed. full of encouragement, prayer, blessing, and refreshment from the Lord. it happened tonight. that moment in which the eagerness turned to bittersweetness as i prepare to leave. the realization of how much i have grown and changed and developed in the Lord, and how these people have come to be more than people, but my family. that this has come to be more than a base, but it has been my home. that these aren't just haitian students, they are my students.

so yeah, i'm sweaty. dirty. and i smell bad. but our God is the God of the impossible and He reigns! i have just three weeks left in Haiti and God is far from done.

blessed.

i wish i could express the encouragement and blessing that was today in words. i will fail abysmally, but i will try nonetheless.

no, actually i wont. even just in sitting down to write about the beauty of today, i can't. so i will leave you with this, a summary statement i just typed to Shelley:

I'm really feeling SO blessed in the spirit, God is still moving so much in my life and heart here. The bittersweetness is starting to set in majorly. I was SO ready to come home, yesterday even. And now I'm just feeling so blessed that I know I am going to miss this place and people and experience.

goodnight. yes. yes, it was.

a caribbean sunset brushed by the hand of God

free refills

so let me just share a tid-bit of what God is still doing in my life:

after being pretty sick last week with stomach issues, i went to the clinic held by our wonderful US military and got a prescription filled for cipro and flagel, both to treat what they suspected to be a GI infection. fun! after taking the first dose on friday morning, i got really sick and wound up spending the latter half of the morning and early afternoon on the couch re-cooping. praise the Lord that the medicine did not continue to make me sick; rather, has finally put me back at optimal health, even though i misread the label, and have only been taking half of my recommended dose of the flagel (2 tablets, 3x daily!).

sunday, we spent a wonderful day at the beach, relaxing in the beauty of what God has created in Montrouis. at church that evening, i totally began to feel a fresh renewal of God’s presence in my heart. the message spoke so strongly to me, about having faith because God is God, and having hope because there is prayer. the speaker told an allegory of islands off the coast of Scotland, called the Hebrides. drunkeness and spiritual apathy ruled everyday life here. two elderly women prayed fervently for revival, to see young people in church, and for the people to turn their hearts to God. after many years of prayer, the island was radically transformed through revival (google this story, or find it on cbn.com). all because of the faith and prayer of two women.

i was immediately encouraged by this story, and also likened myself and Christina to these two women. i knew immediately that i had to share this with her, and commit to prayer for hope in her life, and ask her to partner with me for the same within mine. i am so blessed by her friendship, in addition to the others i am so blessed to call mes amis. but there is something so powerful, so edifying in friendships that are committed to the sole purpose of glorifying the Father.

at the end of the service, the speaker asked us to pray with the mothers and grandmothers surrounding us; it will be their prayers that will change this nation. separated by language, i prayed for the woman in front of me, laying my hands on her and lifting her life up to the Lord. not knowing her or her needs, i just allowed the spirit to lead my prayers and really could sense God's presence so near. after several minutes of prayer, the woman, noticeably crying, fell to her knees before the Lord. the speaker asked if anyone would like to accept Christ, and this woman raised her hand! my heart was SO overjoyed standing there, praying with her and knowing that God was working in her heart! she got up and went to sit on one of the bleachers with her children and i just watch her wipe the tears with a joyful expression as she prayed. after the service, she got up and came over to hug me. haitians never initiate this (unless they are the child). we exchanged God bless you's in creole, and each went on our way. i was so blessed by even playing an unseen, background part of this woman's story through my prayer in the moment. God is so good!

Monday was my morning to lead circle time with the kids, and going to bed on sunday, i still had no idea what i was going to do. fortunately, the Lord did. i woke up and knew what game i was going to play (the one where you stand in a close circle, grab each others' hands, and have to untangle the mess that you've made!) and what scripture i was going to talk about (romans 12, rejoicing with those that rejoice; weeping with those that weep). for not having been prepared, the Holy Spirit sure filled me with joy and enthusiasm as i led off with the tooty-ta and the game, and even gave me the words to share when talking about working together with our brother or sisters to work for the better good of the body (as illustrated in the game). i didn't feel like the two tied together as neatly as i would've liked, but sarah gave me encouraging feedback at our one-on-one that let me believe that God accomplished what He wanted to through my words.

but the real treat was yesterday. lacking personal space, privacy, and even really the opportunity to speak prayers out loud in no one's presence but the Lord, i slipped away to the prayer room in the afternoon. armed with my Bible, a prayer list and my journal, i sat before God and poured out my petitions to Him. even just in allowing the Spirit to lead my prayers, I felt like transformation and redemption was being spoken over a friend. i jotted this down as i kept praying. still more, it was being revealed that this time in her life is about remembering the Lord is provisional and faithful.

bathing another friend in prayer, i asked God to show me His heart for them. the Spirit led me to two separate verses: one exact one i had already given them nearly a year ago, and another that was meant to encourage. although it was for them, i am so blessed by the encouragement that it imparted to me, reminding me to remain hopeful and confident in the Lord.

after praying for the things and people on my list, and finishing with prayer over my transition back to the states and a job opportunity, i left at exactly 3 ... only to come home and find an email written at 2:50 (which would have been practically to the minute of when i was praying for a job) from a principal i had emailed my resume to! after applying to 45+ positions and having had no feedback as of yet, this brought so much encouragement to my life, and reminded me just how important and powerful prayer is!! i found out later that christina had been praying for me in those moments too! God is too good, and look at the glory it brings Him!

i had so many life-breathing conversations yesterday, especially with Christina. the encouragement, hope, and even the challenge that we offer each other is paramount only to Christ's truth and love.

last night, i spent another hour and a half in the prayer room just soaking in the presence of the Lord through worship. learning that i'm able to worship through writing has been so instrumental here. the last 20-or-so minutes i just copied verse after verse from Romans 15 and soaking up the rich goodness in those words. coming home and speaking to Christina just after reading them, i was able to offer scripture as an immediate remedy to her achy heart. the scripture that God gave me, Romans 15:13, is a reminder of our hope and confidence in Him. further, 15:1-5 talk about how the scriptures are written to bring us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises to be fulfilled! even the scriptures say that that is what they are for!!! I love the Lord and His word seriously fills me-- better than mountain dew slurpees. and with free refills.